Here are some real statements discovered on patient/client records from doctors, fitness trainers, and nurses:

• Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband reports she was very hot in bed last night.
• My client has been depressed ever since she started training with me three years ago.
• My client left the gym feeling much better except for her original complaints.
• The patient has no past history of suicides.
• Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.