Yes, that is the question. At least, for men when it comes to bathroom activites. On a night out on the town, nearly every ‘manly-mens’ restroom will have a urinal in addition to a toilet. Let’s be frank, no man in his right mind sits down to do standing-room-only business. It’s one of our few great advantages over women.
Why? Let’s call it ‘splash effect’. Contrary to most women’s beliefs, we actually do look when we pee. But, let’s face it, regardless of the various factors involved, even the smallest of waterfall heights is a long way down and, depending how good the game is on tv, it may be coming out with the pressure of a fire hose. To the unsuspecting pool of water below, chaos is about to erupt and to coin the great bumper sticker – ‘splashing happens’ – or something like that. And timing is of the essence as we have to quickly splash our hands with water, tap the towel twice and get back to the game with the boys and the bowl of community chips all before the next pitch, snap or dribble (no pun intended).
So, not only does sitting take longer, but it also involves sitting on and around splashing. No thanks. So, we stand and leave it to some other poor bastard to deal with the splash effect. Ah, but the urinal. That’s the way men were meant to pee. No need to look down and aim. Hell no. Look off into the horizon and ponder life’s deep thoughts whilst whizzing. That’s as pure as it gets.
That’s why, when I saw this article on the New York Times - For the High-End Bathroom, Something Unexpected - I had to take a look and enjoy the thought of, one day, having my own horizon to urinate in. And think of the benefits for women: you’d no longer have to race us to the bathroom pleading how badly you have to go and appealing against our common sense that you will be really fast. Now, we can pee in unison. That – yes THAT is a tender, loving moment of sharing.
There’s only one thing missing – the daily sports page framed at eye-level. Ah, that’s the way to pause and refresh. Excuse me, I have to pee.
Author | Dave Darby
Dave Darby is a husband, father of 5, son, entrepreneur, speaker and well, a renaissance man who frequently needs to dump his brain on thoughts about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
